Dear Mom

Dear Mom,
      I have with held posting much about your illness or your bravery for that matter, on my blog. I think it was because I didn't want you to worry about how I was holding up. It would have been very hard for me to think you were reading my words of sadness or anxiety about your cancer. As I reflect now, I think I could have written and posted everything and you would have understood.
      I had the opportunity to talk to you the Sunday before you left us, before you were reunited with dad. You sounded tired and your voice was raspy but we talked for 30 minutes about everything. I wish I had had the kids talk to you as well, but you seemed so tired. I am sorry I didn't call the week before. I was having an emotional meltdown and was crying most of the day, everyday. I didn't know how to call you and just cry on the phone. It didn't seem like a burden I wanted to put on you.
     Diane called me Thursday Sept 15th, Alan's birthday  to tell me you could not talk to us anymore. She told me that she was with you and that Kathy was with you too. She told me of your conversations with those allowed to greet you on the other side of the veil. She said dad had been with you but you could not go with him yet. We all just wanted you to be able to peacefully finish your earthly mission without pain or discomfort. It seems very surreal now that you have finished your mission here. That you are reunited with dad and many other loved ones.I am grateful that you were not alone during this transition from earthly life to spirit life again. I am grateful to my sisters who held your hand and whispered in your ear that it was ok to move on. I am grateful to dad for comforting you and letting you know your time was close to join him.
Diane called me around 11 pm, right after you passed and told me she had just witnessed one of the most spiritual experiences of her life. Handing you off to those waiting to greet you. She said you looked like a princesses as those from the mortuary came to take you from your home.
I wanted to thank you for the sacred and spiritual events that took place for me personally after your death. I have written them down and will do my best to live up to what you want of me.
I wanted to share with you some of the pictures from the services we had for you. We all were hoping you were pleased and felt honored. We love you and I am so grateful to have a mother such as you, gracious, loving, full or charity and wanting only the best for your children. You would have LOVED seeing Nate in a suit! As well as Nick. Beautiful grandchildren!!

 These flowers, from friends, were so beautiful

 This particular arrangement is from your children. A little bit of classic with the roses, a little bit of organic with the greenery and the "twigs", I think you would have enjoyed this

 

 And what a tribute to have your grandsons and sons carry you to your final resting place. Until we are reunited again, this ground is dedicated for you.

 Simply sweet and humbling to watch these men take off their flowers and lay them on top with your other flowers. I cried during this.

 I think all in all, you would approve and would think this was beautiful

 Another classic and stunning floral tribute to you.

I love you mom. I love all the things you taught me from being a mother to being a leader and to remember when things get crazy, get out there and give service. I am grateful for you teaching me to cook and clean, to pray and read my scriptures. I am grateful for your support as I told you and dad I was going to serve a mission. I am grateful for all you did to give me the wedding of my dreams. I am grateful that you never wavered from being the most amazing grandma around. Thank you for allowing me to be born on your birthday so that we could share that throughout our lives. I love you mom. Til we meet again