Gingerbread houses

For FHE last night we made Gingerbread houses. Actually that is a falsehood. They are gingerbread house wanna be's! I tried making homemade gingerbread one year and it was so good, but when baked the walls shrunk, the roof pieces were crooked and nothing lined up and it simply made me crazy. Thank heavens for pre scored graham crackers. We had a blast!!
I think for me the best part of the night was listening to all of my kids laughing. They were downright silly. Caitlyn was rolling a snowman out of coconut and royal icing and Nick kept watching the back of his roof sink in and Nate was busy making everyone laugh. Truly one of the best nights in a very long time. :)
Here are some pics. Enjoy

Can you believe he is 17

I often ask myself where the time has gone. Has it really been 17 years since Nick arrived in our family?
Wasn't it just yesterday that he was this little sweet baby?

 Let me tell you the story of  Nick.
I have to back track just a bit to show you how Nick fits into this picture. When Kris and I were first married...I mean the first sacrament meeting we went to as a newly married couple, we sat listening to the opening prayer and the person praying was blessing the little children in the ward. I immediately had the impression that we were not to wait to start our family. I was overwhelmed with that impression and leaned over to Kris and said "I just had the weirdest thought" and I proceeded to tell him what I had felt and with a smile on his face he told me he had felt the same thing. I think we were both in shock and did not know what to think about that. 6 short months later we found out we were expecting Nate. When Nate was 9 months old, I had a very special spiritual experience in which I heard a voice in the middle of the night saying "mommy, I am ready to come to earth" I didn't know what to think of that and remember saying "I don't know who you are, but go back, I am not ready for another baby" This happened 3 nights in a row and I knew this person was a girl, a very strong and valiant girl. When Nate turned 1 I found out I was pregnant. I thought it was the girl who had come to me previously. The night before our 20 wk ultrasound, I dreamed about Nick. I saw a baby with dark hair and the sweetest little smile. I saw him dressed in white. The feeling around him was one of peace. When we went to our ultrasound appt I said to Kris "This baby is not a girl, this is a boy" and I told him of my dream. We then had this confirmed at our dr. appt. We were indeed having a boy.

He arrived 3 weeks early on November 18, 1993. He weighed 8 lb 13 oz. My smallest baby. He arrived at 8:18 am and was perfect. He had dark black hair and was a very peaceful baby.
That would be the word I would use to describe Nick to this day. Peaceful.

And now 17 years later...he is not this little boy, this little baby...anymore. He is a gentle, handsome, smart, genuine, funny, creative young man.

Some of Nick's favorite things are
1. Apple Pie
2. Archeology
3. History
4. Playing Magic (a card game)
5. Reading
And he is way into Mythbusters, Ghost Hunters, History Channel and Scify Channel. So for his b-day we got him a night tour of Alcatraz Island and prison. We also got him a digital voice recorder so he can try his hand at communicating with the ghosts of Alcatraz. We will see what happens.
But let me just say, that as his mom, I think Nick is one of the coolest people I know. He is so good and so good to me. He loves the gospel, he loves the Lord, He is faithful and he is pretty darn amazing!

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY NICK. WE LOVE YOU

tender mercies

I have been learning much in my life about the tender mercies of the Lord. Tender Mercies as Elder Bednar (quorum of the 12 apostles, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) said are
"the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits “his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men” (D&C 46:15).
How grateful I am that my Heavenly Father loves me enough that through his son, even Jesus Christ, I can be blessed with very specific, personal blessings and understandings that come with an abundance of peace. I remember a few years ago, when Nathan was in 5th grade. He had a very bad asthma attack, coupled with his vocal cords closing on him that resulted in him being in the hospital on a respirator and in a drug induced coma.  I remember that night knowing that the only thing I could offer up in behalf of my son was my faith. I had no power on my own of healing him, but I could have faith that the priesthood blessing which he was given would come to pass and heal him, I could have faith that his medical team would be inspired to know what was going on with him. I could ask Heavenly Father to let him live, to not take him home yet. As I prayed that night, out in a dark corner of the pediatric intensive care unit, I was blessed with the tender mercy of peace. How grateful I was that night for the powerful feeling of peace. To have comfort given to me immediately and to have the feeling that he would be ok wash over me. I learned about submitting to God's will that night and was grateful that all would be fine.

If you think about the time when the Savior was on the earth he promised his apostles he would not leave them comfortless. He would send a comforter to be with them. I do believe that we need to be in a frame of mind to receive those tender mercies and if we are, how wonderful to know we can feel them. When we lived in Harrisville, utah, we had a neighbor across the street from us. When we had bought our house, many on our street told us NOT to get to know this person.  Well, we became GREAT friends with the neighbor. Her name is Tyanna. She filled me up and I learned so much about compassion and service from her. In the short 2 years we knew each other, I learned much about the love of Christ and how to be Christlike and to be a missionary all the time. When we had known each other about 9 months, Tyanna was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. We thought the treatments were doing the job, but I remember many times listening to priesthood blessings given to her, by my husband. In them, he would bless her with comfort, strength etc, but never could he bless her to be whole, or to get well. During the time of her cancer and treatments, her husband became active again and their family was sealed in the temple. We moved to colorado in the spring that  year and 7 weeks later I got a phone call from Tyanna's daughter telling me her time was short, that she was at home on a morphine drip and that they expected her to pass at any time. I made it back to Utah the day she passed away. I was too late to see her one last time, but was blessed to have dreams about her, that she was OK and that she was happy. For months after I would catch a whif of Tide detergent and downey fabric softener in the most random of places.... at home depot, at a park....at a restaurant...and each time, I would have a thought pass through my mind "I am here, I am SO happy and I am at peace" I knew this was a tender mercy to let me know that she was OK and happy.

In the last few months, I have learned of so many people I know and love, who are struggling in some way or another...inactivity in the gospel, illness, divorce, job loss etc. I know that I could become VERY overwhelmed with all of this "bad news" but another tender mercy has been given to me and that is the ability to comprehend these things and to see the eternal picture. To know that Heavenly Father's hand is guiding us and is in all things.
I am grateful for my membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am blessed daily by this. I am grateful for the knowledge that brings to me and I am grateful to have the only true church as part of my life. Sometimes I want to SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOF TOPS..... with in the gospel is found ALL the teachings and powers and of God. Now it is our job to let those around us know :)
I am blessed to have the friends that I do, who love me despite my MANY short comings. I am blessed to have a husband who supports me, up lifts me and encourages me. I am blessed by have 3 of the most amazing and wonderful children on this planet. I am blessed to feel the tender mercies of God when I need them.

"I love to read the scriptures"

For the past 3 months I have diligently read the scriptures. I have missed the occasional Saturday, which I am working on NOT doing, but for the most part have read every day. I love the peace that the scriptures bring to me. I love the answers and the rush of the spirit that comes from reading every day. I have the blessing of taking Nick and Caitlyn to Seminary every morning(Seminary is an early morning class that teens can take. In Seminary they study a certain Book of Scripture for the entire school year. They can Study the Old Testament, The New Testament, The Book or Mormon and The Doctrine and Covenants)  In doing so, I usually have time in the mornings to read while I wait for them. For the past month, Nate has been working and I have taken him to work in my morning routine as well. As we sit and wait for the time to pass before he has to go to work (because I take him at the same time I take Nick and Caitlyn) I will pull out my scriptures and read then as well. I have been reading in The Book Of Mormon and just finished it on Monday. I decided I wanted to see if I could read it one more time before the end of the year, which is going to be a bigger task, but it can be done :) I will keep you posted on my progress.
I really fell in love with the Book of Moroni, which is the last book in The Book of Mormon. I love Moroni's words on Faith and Hope and Charity. What a blessing that has been right now.
If you are finding yourself discouraged, in need of a boost, read the words of Moroni about having hope. It reminds me of President Uchtdorfs talk on Hope  http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=25c5a0ad4843d110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
or Elder Hollands talk on Safety for the Soul
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=77ee56627ab94210VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
How grateful I am for living prophets and apostles who teach us and who give us the lifelines we need to hold on to to make it through the muck of the world. Sometimes it is muddled and sometimes it is joyful. Either way, I have found great peace and strength through reading the scriptures.
In closing this post, let me share the lyrics to one of my favorite songs :

Clive Romney, “Scripture Power,” Friend, Oct 1987, 10–11

1. Because I want to be like the Savior, and I can,
I’m reading His instructions, I’m following His plan.
Because I want the power His word will give to me,
I’m changing how I live, I’m changing what I’ll be.

2. I’ll find the sword of truth in each scripture that I learn.
I’ll take the shield of faith from these pages that I turn.
I’ll wear each vital part of the armor of the Lord,
And fight my daily battles, and win a great reward.

[Chorus]
Scripture power keeps me safe from sin.
Scripture power is the power to win.
Scripture power! Ev’ryday I need
The power that I get each time I read.

Marvelous this plan of our Fathers in which he blesses us for even the smallest of efforts in our daily lives. If you have not read your scriptures today then...what are you waiting for??

Theater...outside of Utah

Kris, Caitlyn and I just finished up the production of "A Streetcar Named Desire". This play was one I had heard of and had probably read years and years ago, but was somewhat unfamiliar with. I knew that Marlon Brando had played Stanley Kawalski in the movie version of it and that he had a great scene calling for "STELLA!!!!!" his wife, to come back to him, but other than that, did not know a whole lot about the play.
In a nutshell, it is the story of Stella and Blanche Du Bois, they are sisters who grew up on the plantation "belle reve" in Mississippi. Stella left and moved to New Orleans and married Stanley. Blanche stayed and basically went off the deep end after her young husband committed suicide. She ended up being the scandelous talk of the town and left after trying to seduce one of her high school students. She takes up residency with Stanley and Stella and causes all sorts of havoc. She begins to like "Mitch" and he likes her until he finds out what kind of woman she is. In the end she goes through a serious of horrible events that cause her to basically go a bit bonkers and  Stella has her committed.
The story has so many layers and so many amazing lines in it. Tennessee Williams was an amazing playwright.
Well, Kris played the part of Mitch and Caitlyn had a smaller role of "woman" friend of the lady who lives in the apt upstairs from Stanley and Stella. I was the associate producer. It was nice to learn so much more about the production, directing and stage crew roles in a play.
During this whole process however, I have learned how grateful I am to have had the chance to work with Clearfield community theater and Heritage Theater in Utah. I am so GRATEFUL that I had the opportunity to work with so many people who were so talented and had such a vision of doing wholesome theater. That brings me to my next thoughts.
I am trying harder in my life to not jump to conclusions and to judge people. But it has been an eye opener to be in a production where our little family are the only LDS cast members. There are other cast members who are religious and that is really nice as well. I have learned so much from those people. I guess the one thing I have learned is that professional theater can be done with morals. It was hard for me each night to know that in one scene Stella and Stanley are "making up" and it ended up being an almost "nude" scene. The actress playing Stella did a fabulous job, however when it came to the "bedroom" scene, she had what appeared to be no qualms about being almost naked in front of the audience. She would go out in her nightgown and robe only to have Stanley undress her. The only thing left on under the covers was her underware. So here I am back stage trying to get her dressed again. So not only did the audience have almost nothing left to the imagination but I am seeing WAY more of this actress than I want to. And if that is not enough, there really was NOT a place for her to change privately backstage. We would hold a sheet up, but for the most part the men in the cast (some as young as 18) had to do a great deal of averting their eyes so as to not see her.
I was really so pleased with the whole show except this once scene and it reminds me of justifying going to a movie..."It really is a great movie except for one scene"...you know how that goes.
I really wanted to invite ward members to come and see the show but did not because of this scene. We even told her that she did not need to undress as much but that didn't seem like an option.
So needless to say, it was an eye opener. I really really love theater and doing productions but i can see that we can no longer go into auditions or into a show without first becoming really familiar with the show and asking the director questions like "will their be nudity in this show?" I guess these were just NEVER things we had to worry about with our community theater in utah.
So I give my Kudo's to Tracy Heun, Parks and Rec Manager for Clearfield City, and to the many directors of the shows there for putting together WHOLESOME theater for the WHOLE FAMILY to come and enjoy!! There was never a question of whether your Bishop should be invited to see a show you were doing.
I am not sure what other shows we will be doing with the theater here. Everyone wants us to audition for RENT in the spring, but I am uncertain about how that show will be portrayed.
I am excited for some opportunities though to audition for "DOUBT" and a newly written show done by a Chinese playwright called "At the Playground:" This show may even be taken back to China to perform. :o)

At any rate. These are my rantings. I hope they do NOT come across as too judgemental or harsh. I feel like I am in a totally different world here sometimes. I love love love California, but I am learning that I am not in a shielded bubble anymore....

My husband....the blogger

I just thought I would add a little note letting you all know that Kris is now blogging.
http://kiss-politics.blogspot.com
check it out.
His blog is based on many of the current issues facing our country, politics, religion, etc. He is very insightful and even though you may or may not agree with his points of view or opinions. Go ahead, pop on over and take a gander and leave a comment or two.
Enjoy
And sweetheart.... I love you. Thanks for your opinions and ideals for being able to put into words the thoughts I have been feeling as well. You are amazing. :)

Best Date Ever

I just got back from the best date ever!! What was it you ask? Well I will give you the details. Kris and I dropped of Caitlyn and her friend at our house at 4:30 pm, after 2 hours of watching two girls try on many many outfits. I must say I have a very patient husband who knew it meant the world to his (almost 15 year old) daughter to have him sit and watch her come out and model all sorts of outfits. And I must admit, she has amazing taste! (but more on that later)
So we dropped the girls off and then went to have Mongolian BBQ YUMMY!!!!



Now, this is where the date gets good. It has been WEEKS since I have had the opportunity to talk...just sit and talk....real adult conversation....talking....with my husband. And that is what we did. Our conversation was wonderful, filled with talk of goals, hopes, dreams, kids, work, and just the things of our hearts.
After dinner, we went to....hang on....wait for it....
WALMART!
I know...Can you think of a better place to go while we are out on our date? We looked at all manner of things....well, really we looked at a few things for Caitlyn's birthday, got a few groceries and then headed out again on our adventure. All the while, I got to hold his hand, look into his amazingly blue eyes and feel the warmth of his touch, which still,after 19 years, makes my heart flutter.

Next we went to "the mall"


Again, on our quest for caitlyn's birthday. One of my very favorite smells is the smell of Barnes and Noble Bookstore. We went into the mall through Barnes and Noble and just got to soak in the smells of this wonderful book store! We had such fun looking for things for her and for ourselves as well and the best thing? Again, it would have to be holding my sweethearts hand and seeing the sparkle in his eye.

Lastly, because it was getting late (it was 8:30) we headed to IHOP to share a banana cheesecake dessert.


We spent another hour talking, venting, and just enjoying each others company. So although this date was nothing the world would deem as grand or spectacular, it was the Best Date Ever because I just got to spend 5 uninterrupted hours with my best friend, my spouse, my eternal companion and it was splendid!
Thanks sweetheart for indulging my whims and spending your night with me!

Little Hand

Sometimes poetry hits me when I least expect it. Inspiration comes from many places. I was reading my friend Brittany's blog about her little Caleb starting Joy School and I was thinking of how fast they grow and change.
This little poem just took shape here on this page. Enjoy

Little hand I take in mine
So soft and through mine intertwined
Little fingers, little creases
Little wonders never ceases
Your tiny fingers wrap round mine
If but for a little time

Bigger hands hold mine tight
Crossing the street on the green light
Exploring the world so big and vast
A tree, a bug how long will it last
Holding tight to go here and there
You touch my cheek, my nose, my hair

I grasp your hand so big and warm
and hold it in my very own
One day your hand will guide me too
Just like mine used to do
What comfort your hands bring to me
I love you , my baby you will always be.

Do you ever find yourself wondering "what can I do?"

This morning I was searching through favorite blog sites that I have saved that have cute crafty things to make. I was asked yesterday if I could help out with our wards upcoming Super Saturday (did I mention I am VERY excited to participate in at Super Saturday?) and so I thought I would brainstorm for ideas. As I was going through the blogs this morning I found the blog of a former co worker who is going through brain cancer. She found out this past spring that she had a brain tumor and they did surgery in June. I was reading through her blog that is mainly being kept up by her husband. Reading their story really put things into perspective very quickly this morning. First to make me appreciate how GRATEFUL I am that I can do the tasks I need to everyday. I can do the laundry, I can do the dishes and I can brush the dogs and I can make the beds and do all the tasks of home. On top of that, I can wake at 5:30 AM and get breakfast for my kids as they get up for seminary, I can wake up refreshed and ready to go to church on Sunday. I can read my scriptures without headaches or struggles. My list could go on and on and on. As I read about some of the things her husband is going through, I cried. Her brain right now has lost its ability to filter comments. He talked about the fact that she brings up things from years ago that he did, or even now things he does that make her crazy from not matching the kids clothing correctly (in her perception) to things he shared with her in confidence as a husband about his own insecurities or faults or temptations and she is just spouting them off to anyone and everyone. But then I read about his love for her and how much he hoped things would get better soon. He talked about her dropping to 96 pounds, he talked about her platelets increasing which is a great thing. I can not imagine the stress on this young father and husband, trying to care for a very sick wife and 2 small children. I cried as I read about the generous time and energy of their friends and family who completed a successful fundraiser for them.
I found myself wondering "what can I do" I have had many people around me, including my own amazing, sweet, strong, beautiful sister, go through cancer. What can I do? How can we make an impact? Instead of being hooked on TV, or the internet, what can I do to contribute to someone Else's life??? So that is my quest right now, to figure out a way to meaningfully give back. If you have suggestions please let me know. If you want to jump on the band wagon with me let me know. In the meantime. I will let you know what I come up with. There has to be "Something I can do"

Playing Catch Up

Yep Yep, pretty much got slacker written all over me, right?
I was up in Utah the end of July and gave my new Nephew, Eric, a hard time about not keeping up on their blog....then I looked at ours.....hahaha!
So I guess I need to play catch up or post some amazing epiphany right?
Actually I have had a few of those lately.
Nick and Caitlyn started back to school on August 11th. Along with starting back to school, the also started back in Early Morning Seminary. I must admit, part of me misses not having seminary in our home each morning, but part of me is glad to have them in more of a classroom setting with more kids their ages. I get up and take them over and then have some time in the morning to wait while they are in class.
I decided while I waited that would be an AWESOME time to get my daily scripture study in and so I have been able to read in the scriptures more and to enjoy the insight they give me each day.
Last week, I was waiting in the car, Nick and Caitlyn had already gone in. I noticed kids driving in later and hurrying into the building, then I noticed two kids who had ridden bikes to seminary. They arrived about 15 min late and were clearly out of breath and I could almost feel that feeling from them of fatigue from riding, trying to get bike locks out and set up and knowing they needed to hurry into seminary. At that moment I had a thought enter my mind. I thought how nice would it be if someone was standing there saying "WAY TO GO....YOU MADE IT HERE" and I thought, isn't that part of our job? To encourage those around us to make it? No matter what the goal, to stand up and say "way to go..you are making it" "Way to go...you pushed harder today and succeeded"...."WAY TO GO...YOU MADE IT" How often as parents do we get caught up in our own agenda of only seeing the end goal and forgetting we are all figuring out a way to make it there. I know in my house, I get caught up in the "why didn't you get this done? mode instead of the "WAY TO GO...YOU MADE IT" mode. How often do I say to my kids... Thank you for all you accomplished today?
When I saw those kids make it to seminary, even though they had to ride, even though they were tired, even though they were late...they made it. Nothing else mattered at that moment...they arrived.
We can apply this to our lives as well. Keep our eye on the ultimate goal and then recognize our progress forward rather that berate ourselves for making a mistake or taking longer to get there. How much more progress would we make or would our kids make if the praise coming in was greater than the recognition of what we did NOT get done?
I found myself wanting to jump out of the car and go hug those two kids. I wanted to jump up and down and say "YOU MADE IT, YOU MADE IT....WAY TO GO"

San Francisco

On June 18th we became the proud parents of a new daughter....our French foreign exchange student, Clotilde. Clotilde is from Paris and she is 16 years old. She is very sweet, she is quiet and funny and very polite. We are enjoying having her in our home until July 9th. I am hoping that she is learning and having a good time with our family.
This opportunity came through the High School here. Nick came home and asked if we could host a student (in that same pleading often associated with "can we get a puppy, please") We thought it over and decided it would be a great experience. I am learning so much every day. Especially learning to create dialog each day. Sometimes I expect Clotilde to just speak up and start telling us things, but then I have to remember that she might not feel comfortable doing that, or might be nervous of her english language skills, which I might add are excellent, or that she just might be trying to find common ground as well. She is the middle child of 3, she has an older brother and a younger sister. She and caitlyn are getting along and for the most part, Caitlyn is doing a great job of including Clotilde. It is hard when you feel like you are the one who has to do the entertaining and such for 3 weeks. She is doing great. Both girls are! :)
Saturday we decided to take Clotilde and Nate into San Francisco. Clotilde has been before, but Nate has not. Kris thought it would be fun to climb up to Coit Tower. Let me just tell you, those hills are STEEP!!! Get ready calf muscles....but we all made it and the view was spectacular. We learned that the heir to the Ghiradelli Chocolate lived in a building right up at the top of the hill. We could see Alcatraz, the bay bridge, the city, etc
We walked from there to the Italian section to get pizza. Everyone got a personal pizza, I think Nick's was the most creative, his toppings were clams and olives. Nate had a chicken Parmesan sandwich and I think he enjoyed that. While we ate, we caught the last of the USA vs Ghana game and were saddened for their loss.
After pizza, we hiked down to pier 39 and then onto the Merritime museum. We boarded several different sailing vessels from a paddle boat to a steam tug boat to a tall sailing ship. It was interesting to learn about each of them. The sailing ship was my favorite! The kids even made a new pirate friend.
From there we hit Ghiardelli Square and some of the shops and museums and galleries near the pier.
All in all, it was a great day. Very windy, very cool but awesome!

This is a shot of Caitlyn, Clotilde, Nick and Nate at the top of the hill before the final ascent to Coit Tower


This crab picture was my fav. We parked and were walking down the side walk and saw these signs. We were in China town and I thought the signs meant 'no dumping crabs down the drain" No, they are just a friendly reminder that crabs live down stream, or down ocean, and to only dump water down the drains. No signs saying "watch out for crazy crabs running amuk through the city".....

GRADUATION!!!!!

It is truly amazing how fast time flies. Can it already be 18 years since my first born entered this world? 18 years ago Kris and I moved to Colorado, away from the comforts of family. Away on a new adventure in our life, with 3 month old Nate in tow. We learned a lot about being new parents and a LOT about the advice and council of our parents. We had entered a new realm with this new little life and found ourselves wondering what his life would hold for him.
18 years later, Nate has had his share of trials and tests, his share of ups and downs. His Senior year has been a test and trial in and of itself. What parents move their Senior all the way across the country before school starts? Well, that would be Nate's dorky parents....But through all of this, Nate has been amazing. He dove right into the school year and in true Nate fashion, let others see his unique and amazing perspective on life and the world as he sees it. He made friends and found another great core group of kids. I have been impressed as well, with the kids of Caribou, ME. They have been open, welcoming and very polite and gracious. I will say that it has been a great journey to live in a place where there is not a lot of worry about the kids, who they are and what they are up to. It is just the nature of this part of Maine.
As Nate goes on from this journey and ventures into the future, I wish him success, wisdom and the ability to see the whole picture around him. I wish him tolerance for others and enough insight to see what really matters. I hope at some point he will see and understand the great love his parents have for him, no matter how crazy the journey has been and most of all, I wish for him the ability to find his relationship with God. That he might know there is a divine plan in motion and that he has an important part in it.
Congrats Nate on an amazing graduation today. The Senior Class of Caribou High has class and style. Graduation started with an awesome processional in which the Seniors marched in perfect time up through the isle and to their seats. There we appropriate talks and awards. The Valedictorian, Emily, talked about finding their rainbows, despite the rain they may encounter. There was a great song done by the Senior Choir and an amazing musical number by the band. Each student that received a diploma did so with grace and poise. It was fun to watch them even after the commencement was over. No one was just crazy, they hugged, talked and took pictures. I cried a little as the mom, but held it together for the most part. The end of an era for my oldest.
You are no longer the little baby I used to hold in my arms, no longer the boy who loved his "crucks" and would fall asleep with a matchbox or hot wheels car in his little hands. You are my son, inquisitive, talented, smart.... and you are loved
Congrats Nate!

Graduation announcement


Nate and his friends
Nate with his friend Emilie. She was in our ward as well and in our Early Morning Seminary class.
Caribou High School Class of 2010 Class Motto:
Right before the Big Event!
At home with his newly acquired diploma

deals to meals blog

Ok, my friend Debbie showed me this site and they are awesome. I am learning all sorts of yummy new things! :)
I can't wait to try some of the roll recipes on there and then they just posted the Wingers sticky salad! :)
So right now I am trying to win the bosch mixer as well. Can I tell you how wonderful it would be to make my homemade roll dough in a mixer that could actually handle it?
I think I may have to bake everyday! :)
So, here is their link. Try it out and see what great things you find there! :)
http://www.dealstomeals.blogspot.com/

Water girl

I don't know why I fight it. You know for years, Oprah has been pushing us to find our authentic selves. I think I know who that is, but now it is a matter of trying to get where I am now, to where my authentic self is. Let me explain
Ever since I can remember, we have had a boat (growing up) My parents started out with a small boat and progressively got bigger as the years pressed on. We had many family trips to Lake Powell and Flaming Gorge, not to mention Pineview and Willard Bay. I have just always loved being on the water. When I was in High School we moved to Massachusetts. We lived about half a mile from the ocean. It was the most peaceful place I had ever been. I loved sitting and listening to the surf crash up on the rocks, watching as the waves would roll in. Laying in the sun, the smell of the salt and seaweed. I was hooked instantly. And from that time forth, when ever I am near the ocean, it is like this whole new person emerges.
When we moved to Maine and went to the ocean it was an instantaneous love! My heart was so happy. I had found my way "home" again. It was a bit cruel in Maine to be 4 hours from the ocean though, just far enough away that it was a major deal to go to the ocean. But now we are in California and the ocean is only an hour away. Much more manageable. If I had my way, we would live right by the water, there may be a time and season for that, but for now, an hour away is ok.
Last Saturday we took Nick and Caitlyn to Half Moon Bay Beach. It was remarkable. I stepped onto the sand and took a deep, cleansing breath and filled myself with the scent of the salt water. Ah, home again. It was that instant love affair once more. Kris watched as my whole demeanor changed. I lit up like a kid on Christmas. I was "home" again.
I have posted these pictures on Facebook as well, but enjoy... Half Moon Bay Beach

Are you in a jam?

We are in a jam at our house...well, we are up to our eyeballs in jam....
Do you ever find yourself just totally grateful for things your mom has taught you.
I remember learning to make freezer jam as a teen and again when I was pregnant with Caitlyn. We made A LOT of freezer jam when I was pregnant, or maybe it just seemed that way because I was as big as a house, with swollen feet and 2 small kids running around. At any rate, I put off making freezer jam for a long time because I remembered it taking so long that I just never really wanted to dive back into it again. Thinking back on that now, I think it took so long because we made so much, probably around 4 full flats of berries. Well a few years ago, I was asked to demo freezer jam making in our ward. I panicked and then called my mom. She assured me that is was an easy process and she walked me through the steps. Now making jam is so easy and so satisfying. I love creating new combos and just having something in my house I made that my kids love too. This is the fruits of my latest batches. Thanks MOM!
Strawberry, Strawberry/blueberry and Strawberry/Mango
fresh strawberries, frozen blueberries and i also used frozen mango chunks from Costco.
my advice is to thaw the frozen fruit before pureeing it

Easy Freezer Jam
4 cups pureed fruit
1 1/2 -2 C sugar
pectin
containers to put jam in
puree washed fruit and measure out 4 cups. Place into big mixing bowl. Add sugar and pectin and stir until sugar is dissolved.
Pour into freezer containers and make sure lids are on tight. I let mine sit on the counter for a about 30 min before placing into the freezer.
enjoy

Now thats what I call perfect

Having written my previous post on the "dreaded" Mother's Day , I have to eat my words and say that this was one of the nicest Mother's Days I have ever had. It all started Saturday. We hit some yard sales, the Farmers Market and then home. Then I was taken out of the house very quickly again to go spend the entire afternoon with my husband. When we got back nick and caitlyn had cleaned the living room, dining room and kitchen and it sparkled and shined. There were even fresh cut roses on the table in a cute vase caitlyn decorated with ribbon. Brittany, if you read this, she reminds me so much of you :). Then I showered and we all got cleaned up and went out to dinner. It was so relaxing and so nice. On sunday we got up and were just lazy as church doesnt start until 1. Nick and Caitlyn both had speaking assignments in church so they were finishing up their talks and Kris was getting dinner ready. Again, so nice to not have to even cook or think about dinner. The phone rang as we were getting ready for Church and it was Nate calling to tell me Happy Mother's Day. That was awesome!!
I got to hear Nick and Caitlyn speak and share their testimonies then all the YM/YW sang and it was fabulous! We have around 30 youth in our ward.
Kris and I are attending another family history sunday school class and so we went to that and enjoyed and then went to RS. We had a shortened lesson because the men and youth made desserts for the moms. We got out about 20 min early and were served yummy things like cherry cheesecake and brownies. YUM!
Back home we had dinner which was fabulous and full of all my favorites. Then I got to put my feet up while Kris gave me a lovely foot massage! :)
All in all it was a splendid weekend and I was very spoiled. The nice this was just not having to worry about any chores and being a bit pampered. I loved it
THANKS FAMILY!!!! I LOVE EACH OF YOU VERY MUCH!

Mothers Day

I was just reading my friends post about mothers day. I know this is supposed to be a holiday that "honors" mothers...blah blah blah. But I have never really loved mother's day. My favorite part of Mother's Day is seeing MY mom. But this year I do not have that luxury. I will think about her and know she will be with the rest of my siblings, grandkids etc, having a nice picnic in the park. (I hope they do this) It is always nice to take the pressure of and just visit as a family.
I know in my mind, I always want one really nice thing that I can just enjoy. When that doesn't happen then I am grumpy and feel like having a pity party. When I tell my family what I really would like is for THEM to clean the house, do the dishes, pick up their crap so I don't have to, they don't believe me. They don't understand THAT THAT WOULD BE AN AMAZING DAY for me!
In tribute to my mom, however, let me just say that she is one of the most remarkable, amazing women that I know. She is hip, stylish, cool, funny and sweet all at the same time. She has words of wisdom gleaned from her life to impart to her kids. She wants to be appreciated and loved and needed and wanted.
Mom, If you take time to read this blog, I hope you will know how very much I love you. I am blessed to share the same birthday as you. We have always had a special bond and I am grateful for your example of a woman of service and Christ like example. You are amazing and needed and loved! I am so grateful to at least be closer to Utah this year. Only a long day drive away or a quicky flight! :)
LOVE YOU MOM!

The Cali house

Finally a few pictures of the house. Sorry these have taken so long. I promised Leona I would do it and this was the soonest I could...
This is the cute front of the house. I love the pale yellow of the front

This is the quiet street we live on. It is a dead end and we are the last house. I LOVE LOVE the mature trees. It is shady and that will be very nice in the hot hot summer

This is my cute cute kitchen. granite countertops, and I think the stove may be original to the house but it is completely refurbished.
messy, I know and of course, the dogs are in the shot, but this is part of the living room.

And below....boxes and oh, there is the dining room table...lol.....lots of room and lots of storage as well. And now, thanks to the cable guys, I know where the crawl space is too!
So that is part of it. It is a work in progress right now as we will be painting and such and I can't wait to finish getting all of the cardboard OUT of the house!!! :)
Til then...have a great day!

Getting Settled

I just wanted to post a quick post that we have arrived safely in Tracy, CA. We are getting unpacked and are enjoying the area. It is cool today under blue blue skies. This weekend however, we should be in the mid 80's. Break out the sunscreen!! We are about half way unpacked. We need to finish Caitlyn's room and the Parent bedroom :) The dogs learned how to break out of the back yard today, thanks to the wind and the gate not being locked, but they came right back as we pulled in which is good for them.
I will post house pics soon
Love to all!

and the decision is.............

So many of you have been wondering what our final decision is on our move. Is it Kentucky? Is it California? I will tell you that this has been such a huge process for us and in some ways it has been made so clear which way we should go and in others we have doubted, questioned and have had to learn to really tune into and figure out the very quiet whisperings of the spirit.
Having said all that....the decision is
WE ARE MOVING TO CALIFORNIA
Now some of you will be thinking "holy cow, what are they thinking" We understand that because we have said the same things, asked the same things and logically thought through all of that. The Sunday before conference, Kris and I both fasted and prayed and asked for blessings to help us in our decision. In the blessing i received, the man, Brother Cantin, said "I feel inspired to tell you that you need to follow your heart and to do what makes your heart feel excited". So after trying to logically think things through I remember thinking "well, california is what makes my heart feel excited, but that can't be the answer, because it is what I really want" so I told Kris and he had told me that in his blessing that he was told that when he made the right decision, he would feel peace. We both were told that there was a specific place the Lord wanted us right now and that he would help us get there.
So by sunday night we talked and we both sortof talked ourselves into Kentucky and we went to bed. Well monday I woke up and I was so sad. I felt overwhelming sadness. I felt like I had just lost the best thing ever. I felt a hopeless kind of sad. I don't think I had felt sadness like that in a very very long time. I called Kris and asked him how he was and he said "i just feel kindof sad today"....whoa, what? I told him I felt the same and I said "honey, Kentucky is not the right decision" So by that night he was back on the phone with the company in cali and they came back with the offer we wanted plus a bonus to move with and some other perks as well. And all in all we will actually come out with a considerable amount more per month in our savings that we would have in Kentucky, as they upped the offer. We are truly blessed and I pray that as we journey to california it will be for many many years. We are looking to stay in Tracy, CA where the company is. There is lots of rural farmland around, almond trees, walnut groves, strawberry fields etc. As soon as we both decided to go for it, we both felt such peace and such excitement. We did have to stop often and be still and listen carefully and follow how the spirit made us feel. But all in all, don't doubt our decision and we will be closer to home and family and friends.
Our tentative move date is in about a week and a half, so wish us luck!
I will blog more as we get settled

decisions decisions

Who knew planning your future could be so crazy?? Ok, really I did know that it could be crazy...our whole married life has been crazy, a twist here, a turn there....I am hoping this next step might be a straight line for a while. Just when we thought we were Kentucky bound another twist has popped up. Not necessarily a bad twist, just a twist. In January, Taxworks, (who Kris worked for before moving here to Maine) anyway, Taxworks, contacted Kris to go do some contract work for a company based out of Tracy, CA. He actually did the work for them up in Seattle, WA. He was gone the month of Jan. up there. Well, right before he left to fly home, he met with one of the owners of the company (Chuck Petz) Chuck picked Kris's brain about starting up a QA dept for their business, they talked for a long time. He even thought maybe he wanted Kris to do sales for them and to be a sales manager for them, live on the east coast and work primarly over the areas of NY and NJ. Anyway, they were not prepared to make an offer at that time, they needed to get through their tax season and to see what their projected growth would be. That information came back this month for them and they just flew Kris and I out for the weekend, to interview, to look around, to see the areas, the schools, etc. They came back with one offer today, which was good, but not enough for northern california. So Kris counter offered, so we will see what they come back with. I don't think they intentionally low balled, in fact It was a really good offer, but we need to ask for what we need as well. So...on the flip side, Kris did tell ZirMed (where he is working in Kentucky) that he was going to go on the interview in California. They were supportive of that and wanted to talk to him when he got back. They are meeting tomorrow but let him in on the fact that they see him becoming the QA Architect in the next short while (with in 4-6 months) This would mean an increase in salary and stock options plus some other benefits. Both are really amazing places to work, both are amazing places to live. Both offer some great things and both are growing, even in this economy. ZirMed just broke ground on a new building as well. So we have a lot of decisions to make in the next few days. I think I know where we are leaning and then we both bring up other concerns, options etc and we lean another way....So we will post when the decision is final
In the mean time, It was really fun to be in San Francisco for a few days and even more fun to be with my husband. Below are some pics of our trip.

One of the bay bridges
the sailboats down by pier 39
Pier 39. We enjoyed a yummy bowl of clam chowder in a sour dough bread bowl!
Kris near the water...see he does exist! lol
A cool black and white of Alcatraz Island....you can go on a flashlight tour every Friday the 13th and every Halloween...fun...or creepy!

Do not pass snow, Go directly to Spring

Don't you LOVE those end of winters, beginnings of Spring, where it gets up in the mid 50's and you think "hmmm, I wonder where Winter went". Its not like I haven't been wishing for sunshine and for the snow to melt, I just didn't think anyone would take me seriously and actually grant such a request as this. We are in Northern Maine for heaven's sake. Land of 200" of SNOW....How is this possible that on March 18th, I can look out the window and see grass where the snow was just a few short days ago. People keep telling me this is "highly unusual" I think I Like the term now. "highly unusual" that means, This is so incredible cool, it rarely happens and don't hold your breath, we have no idea how long it might last. Could there be a negative "highly unusual"? Of course...that might look like -60 degrees, 300 inches of snow...kids home with so many snow days they have to go to school until the end of July to make it all up.....
No THANK YOU...I will take my "highly unusual" and enjoy it.
We are supposed to get more snow the end of the month...But unless it dumps 5 feet, I think I can handle it.
It has been so nice to enjoy the sunshine and the outdoors. My dogs are even going crazy, they are leaping around, barking with excitement and genuinely just pleased about not having to go outside in negative temps to do their business.
I feel like a game of Monopoly where you draw a card and instead of saying "do not pass go, go directly to jail" I got the good karma card of "do not pass snow, Go directly to SPRING!!!

Duh!

You know, I keep checking my blog, I've taken off the Valentines background and put up a St. Patty's day Background. I have hopped on to analyze the blog and have thought, hmmm, no more comments. I wonder why. Well, DUH! I looked today and realized I have not posted a new post since FEBRUARY 3rd!!!! Well, no wonder. I probably have people taking a peak, but realize there is NOTHING new.....
Well, here is my attempt at something new.
We are anxiously awaiting finding a home in Kentucky. As soon as we do, I AM OUTTA HERE....no offense to any of my maine friends, I am just so ready to be back with my husband again. hope to never have to be a true single parent in my lifetime. It is not joyful. Well, again, I guess that would depend on the situation that would make you into a single parent. For me, having my husband working out of state, is not joyful. I imagine this might be how NOT achieve the Celestial Kingdom might be. With out my sweet companion here with me there is no progression forward in our relationship (although we are trying to chat everyday and now we are working on goals while we are apart, so that helps) but it reminds me of what that eternal state might be like. How depressing to not have your family unit, to not have your spouse and to just be ministering to others. To me, right now, when I get to be back with Kris, that will be a celestial reunion. I can't wait.
BUT in the mean time..life goes on. I am packing boxes, stripping wall paper and still teaching seminary, doing Relief Society, teaching piano and voice lessons and working, plus being the mom, the chauffeur, the entertainment person, the doctor, the pet walker and trying to find time for some ME time. I think, right now, being busy is a great thing. I can get up , focus on the tasks at hand and get going. It is making the time fly by. I can't believe Kris left for Seattle 2 months ago today!!
So, we are good, we are busy and we are anxiously awaiting yet another chapter in our lives!
Oh, I am also starting a recipe blog. There is only one recipe on it right now, but it will grow. It is www.polsonfamilyrecipes.blogspot.com

LOBSTAH!

AH LOBSTAH!
We decided with Kris heading out to Kentucky in the morning that we would treat the kids to a real live Maine Lobster Dinner! We opted to do it at home because it would be half the cost of taking them out. At around 8.00$ a lobster, it was NOT a bad deal! :) We did not tell them what we were having, just that we had a surprise for dinner. Caitlyn's reaction was priceless as she was walking around the corner into the kitchen she saw the Lobsters and screamed "AHHHH"...not in the Ahhh yum sort of way, IN theAHHHHH What is that on my plate...sort of way. It was funny.
So enclosed are some pics of our Maine Lobster dinner

Before our feasting....these guys were just caught yesterday morning and were driven up here yesterday afternoon. FRESH!
The kids with their LOBSTAH's!
Kris enjoying his Lobster
What is left of Nate's feast..oh, we had a huge batch of steamer clams as well. Personally, I am not a clam fan. But Nate and Kris seemed to really enjoy them!
Along with the lobster and clams we had baked potatoes, sauteed Brussell sprouts, steamed carrots and rolls.
oops..on its side. Nick licking his fork one last time as the meal ends
A little bit of lobster tail
All in all it was fabulous. The little store here in town cooks the lobster for you and boxes it up fresh and hot to take home, ready to eat. It was nice to not have to boil the poor things at home. I am not so good at that. Yummeeee!

Just an update

This is mainly for Kris, so he knows what we are up to while he is gone.
Tonight Nick had scouts and so we made a nice batch of Thai Curry Soup and had dinner. Caitlyn and I took Nick to scouts and of course the dogs wanted to go for a RIDE! They love RIDES in the car! I LOVE the way Zoe's ears perk up and she gets this crooked "Elvis" grin and then she paces and whines until she gets her leash on to go. Zeus waits patiently by the door, watches me get on my coat, and boots and then the listen for the keys. The KEYS are the signature sound. When they hear that sound, they know it is time to go. Once we head out, they both wait patiently by the door...NOT....zeus usually runs around the car or tries head to the back yard. We have to remind him of why we are outside. Zoe is more controlled but only because she is on the leash. Then we open the doors and pull the seat up and in they go. Zoe is really content to ride in the back but not Zeus. Zeus, when placed in the back seat, talks the whole time he is back there. He grumbles and groans and squawks and grunts, telling us this is NOT where he wants to sit. he wants to be up front next to mom!! Tonight Zoe rode in the back seat and Zeus in the middle seat. He was content to be there. I guess it was close enough. When we dropped Nick off, we left and went to Rite Aid. He promptly moved up to the front seat as soon as we had exited the car. Of course when we got back in the car, both zoe and zeus were in the front seats. They are pretty funny. We left Rite Aid and went to Tim Hortons. For those of you who don't know what Tim Hortons is...it is a donut/bakery/sandwich/breakfast restaurant. They make awesome donuts, however that is NOT my favorite part of Tim Hortons. They made the best breakfast sandwich around..It is called a B.E.L.T (bacon, egg, lettuce Tomato). It usually comes on a bagel but I get my on the biscuit. So much better that way. So we went to tim hortons and picked up a dozen donuts. We went home and played scattergories for Family night and ate donuts.
It was a good night. The only thing missing was the daddy. It just is not the same with out my husband home!~ I love you sweetheart!

Caitlyn's new haircut

Just thought I would post some pics of Caitlyn's new hair cut. She added layers and it looks fabulous!

What do these things have in common??

What do
This skyline:

Th Kentucky Derby
UPS


And the Louisville Zoo
have in common???


Kris got a phone call on sunday on the way to church sunday from Taxworks in utah (the company he worked for in utah) He was asked if he would be able to fly to Seattle and San Francisco for a bout a month to train to call centers on the taxworks products and to walk clients through installing them. He agreed. So i am widowed for a month....at least that is what I thought. When he landed in Seattle on Tuesday he got a phone call from larry, at Zirmed, in Kentucky saying all the paperwork had come back and been approved and that they were offering him the job in kentucky. We were very excited. Larry said that they wanted him to start Feb 1st............................................................oh, wait...........................that means that I will be widowed just a bit longer....like from now until the end of the school year. That seems like such a long time that I just can't think about it right now. I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, stay busy with the tasks of 2 callings, being mom and dad, managing the house and work. It just seems like such a LONG time to be with out my husband. But on the other hand, I have some goals that I am working on accomplishing and it will be an awesome thing to see him and tell him of the goals I am working on and how I did with them. I have been blessed with peace again and either I am tired or something because I am not stressed out about the time period of being apart. I know that the Lord's hand is holding mine and guiding me on the path I am on. I feel comfort in knowing that i am strengthened by him. That i am just a prayer away from all that I need.
There will be days that will be hard, that will try my patience (like yesterday) and in those moments, I can get online and send Kris a quick chat message, or a text message and he can respond to me and help me out. In those moments of stress and falling apart, because I know those will come too, in those moments, I know I have friends, family and ward members and a loving Heavenly father who will give me what I need to go on!
So...it looks like we are Kentucky bound. It is not utah, but it is closer to utah than northern maine. It is WARMER than Northern Maine.....and I think it will be great