I once was called a judgemental reglious zelot......

Yep, Its true. Kris and I had an interesting talk about that this morning as I drove him to work. And where does this stem from? Mainly from dealing with the cast of RENT. What an emotional journey this show has been, on many levels. As I said before, when I returned from Utah I was emotional. There were many times I would head to the theater, reluctantly and even with resentment in my heart about going. I did not want to be there, I did not want to leave my kids home AGAIN..for another night without a parent home. And then being at the theater was an altogether different situation. I found myself some nights wondering what in the heck I was doing in the midst of show that was against my belief system and surrounded by people who did not share my same beliefs and who I felt were blatantly mocking my values. The content of the show RENT talks about AIDS, HIV, same sex relationships but also goes to the next level of not only those issues but other descriptive things within those relationships. There was so much of a shock to my system, to my spirit that I felt BLAH when I would go home. Things were put into good perspective last night. And here in lies my question....
"What is the difference between JUDGING someone and "Judging" with the spirit of discernment" ? Can this happen? I believe it can. When we "JUDGE" it is usually because

1. It is easier to criticize than to be constructive.

2. To magnify our own virtues. However, because it is easier to criticize than to be constructive, we may decide not to improve ourselves but instead attempt to make others look smaller by tearing them down.

3. To justify our own faults.

4. Revenge or jealousy. Or we may want to tear down a person who outshines us if we are covetous or envious of what he has.

5. To shift the blame

to name a few....

When we discern we use the gifts of the spirit to help understand right vs wrong, to help us know the motives of others in our behalf and to help us know how close we are to the "edge of the cliff" Discernment is a gift to keep us directionally straight. Sometimes the world throws curves and says "come this way for a bit" and discernment makes the spirit say "whoa, thats not where you want to be"....And discernment is a good thing, it helps us realize what things are good for us as well. 

So back to my story. Last night Kris and I were talking to a member of the band who is playing for the show. This band plays in the Christian Community Church here in town.  The drummer, Cleo, is very religious and when the band came for their first run through with the cast, she, especially, was very uncomfortable with the content of this show. She had talked to the guy over the band and expressed her shock and concern. After they talked they both came to the same conclusion. Sometimes we are put into situations that are very much submerged into what the world says is right. Our spirit of discernment tells us it is not, so we are at a crossroads, a conflict. Do we run to our homes and hide in the safety there? Or do we stand firm in our beliefs and stand as a beacon for those who are seeking truth or as defenders of truth? It is possible to stand in the world and not partake of it. It is draining when you stand there for a long time. Kris commented about the urge to come home and shower off the muck everything going on in this show. So do we stand in the midst of this cast and preach and condemn? No. But we can say "this is a job" get through it and hopefully have an impact on someone for good. 

Another interesting statement made last night was directed toward my daughter. One of the boys in the cast, who knows her from previous shows etc, said "Caitlyn is SO innocent" and my reply? I said "I know..isn't refreshing?" I love my girl. Im not sure we realize just how much our kids are exposed to at school. So many pressures and she stands tall and shows that it is OK to be virtuous in a world that does not think virtue is a trait worth having. 

So I may be viewed as a religious judgemental zelot to some, but I am so grateful for the ability to discern and to keep myself firmly planted and to keep myself away from the cliffs of the world. To keep myself out of the great and spacious building and firmly grasping the rod of iron.