So I know this is on my Face book, but not all of you Facebook, so I am posting a video here as well of Caitlyns last Choir Concert. This is Shenandoah. Mr Renner, their Choir teacher had the Seniors perform the first part in parts and then added in the rest of the concert. It is beautiful. The second one is Ave Verum by Imant Raminsh. It is beautiful as well. Enjoy. You may have to turn off my playlist on the right hand side so it does not play while you are listening. :)

Can we have a wing with our name on it?

Those of you who have gone through a catastrophic illness with a loved one might ask the same question after spending so much time in the hospital. We we arrived Friday evening from California, we hit Wendover and my sister and brother called informing me that my mom was once again in the ER. She had severe abdominal pain that brought her to her knees and they rushed her into the ER. They did a CT Scan and found fluid and air in the abdominal cavity so they knew she had perforated something in her abdomen but they didn't know what it was. We talked with the surgeon and she agreed to have them use a scope to see what was going on. Around 1 am, the surgeon came out and informed us that she had an ulcer rupture in her stomach and perforate through. He was able to repair that and now she is on the road to recovery once again

This picture was taken on Easter Sunday. My brother had brought my mom a HUGE stuffed easter bunny and we placed the bunny by her. Sorry mom, but it is too cute a picture not to share
While we were in Utah, we also went to the State Capitol Building as Nick needed that for a merit badge he is working on and the kids enjoyed it. It is a magnificent building.

This is a great shot looking up in the rotunda.

This is a shot looking into the House of Representatives

Next we went down to Temple Square in Salt Lake City. It was getting COLD!!!!

Caitlyn in front of the beautiful Christus Statue

Another shot of the temple. I think I may frame this one

Some of the beautiful flowers just blooming

Amazing vintage hat display at the Joseph Smith building. If you know Nick, Caitlyn and I, you might not know that we LOVE vintage hats. We went to an estate sale last year and scored a box full of hats from the 30's and 40's which now hang on Caitlyns wall. Nick particularly loved the top hat in the top right part of the hat display.

Right after we took this picture, we crossed back on to temple square and SNOW....SNOW....SNOW!! I was wearing capri's and a sweater...Toto..we are NOT in California any more :)

It was a great trip in which we were able to see many friends, spend time with family and focus on the things of eternity

Antelope Island

One of the fun things we did while in Utah was to go to Antelope Island. We haven't been for a few years and my great nephew Caleb had not been at all. We loaded up and proceeded across the causeway and out to the Island. The pictures are from my phone camera so i couldn't get close ups, but we did see Buffalo from afar, and a great Antelope :)

My sisters grandson (my great nephew) Caleb. He was so happy and was having such a blast!

I think Nick was trying to fit in with the local wild life :)

Some of the horses at Fielding Garr Ranch. Caleb enjoyed petting them. We fed them grass and loved on them for quite a while.

The beauties of this Island are amazing. From the blue waters of the Great Salt Lake to the rugged rocks and sage brush and grassy areas. From the sandy beaches to the beautiful wildlife we saw. What a great day at Antelope Island

Easter and Spring Break

Easter 2011
We were lucky enough to travel to Utah for Easter this year. Well worth the 11 hour drive. My sister Diane, graciously hosted us and let us crash at her house. Nick and Caitlyn were excited that they did not have to give up the dying of the eggs.

Nick getting ready to dye his portion of the eggs

Caitlyn is very determined to decorate this egg in her own way

Let the dying begin

Awesome eggs

Taken in front of my sisters house on a Beautiful Easter Morning
We were blessed to attend Sacrament meeting with my sister at her sons ward. Craig (my nephew) and his wife, Erin, were speaking in their sacrament meeting. They spoke so graciously and with such love of the Savior and of his atonement and of his glorious resurrection. How grateful I was to hear their testimonies. We enjoyed a wonderful dinner with family later and I was feeling so blessed to be with my family that day.

I once was called a judgemental reglious zelot......

Yep, Its true. Kris and I had an interesting talk about that this morning as I drove him to work. And where does this stem from? Mainly from dealing with the cast of RENT. What an emotional journey this show has been, on many levels. As I said before, when I returned from Utah I was emotional. There were many times I would head to the theater, reluctantly and even with resentment in my heart about going. I did not want to be there, I did not want to leave my kids home AGAIN..for another night without a parent home. And then being at the theater was an altogether different situation. I found myself some nights wondering what in the heck I was doing in the midst of show that was against my belief system and surrounded by people who did not share my same beliefs and who I felt were blatantly mocking my values. The content of the show RENT talks about AIDS, HIV, same sex relationships but also goes to the next level of not only those issues but other descriptive things within those relationships. There was so much of a shock to my system, to my spirit that I felt BLAH when I would go home. Things were put into good perspective last night. And here in lies my question....
"What is the difference between JUDGING someone and "Judging" with the spirit of discernment" ? Can this happen? I believe it can. When we "JUDGE" it is usually because

1. It is easier to criticize than to be constructive.

2. To magnify our own virtues. However, because it is easier to criticize than to be constructive, we may decide not to improve ourselves but instead attempt to make others look smaller by tearing them down.

3. To justify our own faults.

4. Revenge or jealousy. Or we may want to tear down a person who outshines us if we are covetous or envious of what he has.

5. To shift the blame

to name a few....

When we discern we use the gifts of the spirit to help understand right vs wrong, to help us know the motives of others in our behalf and to help us know how close we are to the "edge of the cliff" Discernment is a gift to keep us directionally straight. Sometimes the world throws curves and says "come this way for a bit" and discernment makes the spirit say "whoa, thats not where you want to be"....And discernment is a good thing, it helps us realize what things are good for us as well. 

So back to my story. Last night Kris and I were talking to a member of the band who is playing for the show. This band plays in the Christian Community Church here in town.  The drummer, Cleo, is very religious and when the band came for their first run through with the cast, she, especially, was very uncomfortable with the content of this show. She had talked to the guy over the band and expressed her shock and concern. After they talked they both came to the same conclusion. Sometimes we are put into situations that are very much submerged into what the world says is right. Our spirit of discernment tells us it is not, so we are at a crossroads, a conflict. Do we run to our homes and hide in the safety there? Or do we stand firm in our beliefs and stand as a beacon for those who are seeking truth or as defenders of truth? It is possible to stand in the world and not partake of it. It is draining when you stand there for a long time. Kris commented about the urge to come home and shower off the muck everything going on in this show. So do we stand in the midst of this cast and preach and condemn? No. But we can say "this is a job" get through it and hopefully have an impact on someone for good. 

Another interesting statement made last night was directed toward my daughter. One of the boys in the cast, who knows her from previous shows etc, said "Caitlyn is SO innocent" and my reply? I said "I know..isn't refreshing?" I love my girl. Im not sure we realize just how much our kids are exposed to at school. So many pressures and she stands tall and shows that it is OK to be virtuous in a world that does not think virtue is a trait worth having. 

So I may be viewed as a religious judgemental zelot to some, but I am so grateful for the ability to discern and to keep myself firmly planted and to keep myself away from the cliffs of the world. To keep myself out of the great and spacious building and firmly grasping the rod of iron.

quick update

Is it really April??? I mean..wow...Where did MARCH go??
Nate turned 19 in March, and the rest of the month seems like a blur.
A quick update on my mom. Chemo is going well. And the feeding tube, when not getting clogged or having to be replaced, has been working and she is up to 114lbs (she was 99 when I flew home) They did an antogen marker test last week and we are awaiting the results of that. She has developed a blood clot in her leg, so she is receiving medication for that as well. Ah, the joys! :) All in all, things are good right now. She was blessed to have a visit from her brother who lives here in California and from her sister who lives in Utah. Those were both wonderful for her.
I am super busy right now ( I know..what else is new) Kris and I have working as the  musical directors for RENT. The original musical director walked out and we agreed to step in and then I sortof dumped it on my husband and he took over while I was in Utah with my mom. He is amazing and I was so grateful to know he had things in control while I was gone. Since RENT is mainly music (like 98%) he had his work cut out for him. I joined him when I got home and although I really really really dislike the content of the show, I have, for the most part, enjoyed getting to know some VERY talented people and have enjoyed those friendships. I have missed not being at home at night, that has really tugged at my heart strings. I need to be home being the mom  and that has made me mad...mad that I didn't just say "NO" to this project in the first place. At any rate..what is done, is done. And the show will be over next sunday.
On top of doing musical direction for a show, I am also the costume mistress for the upcoming dance festival. Today we cut out 16 circle skirts and they are now ready to sew. The costumes are simple, but will be fabulous!!! Can't wait to see it all come together. Kris and I were also called to be part of the Stage Management team for the event, which will be amazing!
Nick, Caitlyn and I will be heading up to Utah the last week of April for Spring Break and some much needed time with my mom again! YEAH!!! So I am looking forward to the break!
So that is a brief update. OH, did I mention that my hard drive totally died on my 1 year old lap top? Now I have a new one installed, I am up and running again, but sadly, all info on my old hard drive was lost.
Ok, so thats it. I will try to post pictures after this next week is over!!

A quick update

I feel like my world has turned a bit upside down since I posted last.
I spent the last two weeks up in Utah caring for my mom and spending much needed time with my family.
My mom had started throwing up the end of January and the doctors thought it might be a stomach virus. After multiple trips to the ER, urgent care and being admitted to the hospital, a colonoscopy, upper GI and CT scan, it was determined that my sweet mom has pancreatic cancer. I have to say I am not a big fan of the "cancer" word. It was difficult, at best, to hear those words coming from the doctors mouth. I must say he was kind, gentle and it was in and of itself, a rather spiritual moment. I was grateful for Dr Neilson and for his understanding of the gospel plan and how that could have an effect of the news he had to deliver. The tumor is situated in a way that it is pushing against the intestinal wall causing a blockage. This is why  my mom would get so sick and violently throw up because there was no place for any food or liquid she was consuming to go. It could not get past the blockage. My mom has lost a lot of weight, but the good news is, some of it is starting to come back on :)
After we found out the news of the tumor, we met with the oncologist, Dr Klein (in Bountiful) and she was wonderful as well. Mom has opted to try Chemo treatments, not as a means to cure, but as a means to offer some shrinkage in the tumor so that perhaps actual food could be consumed and could get past the blockage. We are not sure of the outcome of the chemo at this point but do know that positive results could prolong her sweet life.
In the past 2 weeks, she has had a feeding tube placed up through the nose, down past the blockage. It slipped partially out the next day and had to be repositioned again. After that we were up and going with a few minor snags like clogs in the feeding tube (which we have now learned how to work those out) She has an IV pole that the food bags hang from and says that she is tethered to the "mother ship"...the IV pole. Great sense of humor. I lover her so!!
I flew home last monday and since then she has had her first round of Chemo. She did get a little nauseated and tired but other than that, seemed to weather it well. She will have 3 treatments then a week off, then 3 then a week off... I supposed then her oncologist will evaluate how things are going at that point.
I have to say that while I was up at her home, I kept thinking to myself "I should be upset, I should be crying" but the tears did not flow. I suppose that that comes from the spirit. Think of the prayers being offered in her behalf from temple prayer rolls, to family and friends. We are bouyed up by this and are given great strength and comfort in a way that I don't think I have felt before. Perhaps when Nathan was in the hospital many years ago (when he was 10 ) but what a blessing it is to have that now.
I am also grateful for amazing siblings. We all bring our own strengths to the table when it comes to the care of our mother. We can offer many ways to serve her and to care for her. How wonderful it is to see us unified in this purpose!!
I will try to keep posting as events happen.

In other news. Can you believe that Nate will turn 19 this next week? While there are no mission plans yet, I do see signs of growth in him and continue to pray for him to have a soft heart and to have the ability to feel something...anything pertaining to the spirit. If you care to include him in your prayers that would be greatly appreciated.
Kris seems to be aging and leveling up these days as he will be ordained a High Priest this Sunday. He has been called to be the second assistant in HP group. I think it is fabulous and truly preperatory of great things to come forth.
I am currently teaching RS and LOVE teaching the gospel principals lessons. I am also the costume mistress for our ward for the upcoming dance festival for the youth and Kris and I are Stage Managers as well. I am also on the scout committee...but I have no idea really what my job is there yet...it will come :)
Sorry it has been so long since I have posted. Lots going on!!
Love you all!!!