PATIENCE

That is the topic of my sermon today. One day there was an amazing woman who dedicated her life to her family and friends and to Heavenly Father. She tried to do all she could. She made a resolve to update her blog and post pictures of events of her family. She then received something. A man she knew knocked at her door and handed her a book. She was so excited to receive it. She immediately sat down and read the book, cover to cover. She highlighted passages and began to commit the book to memory. She then realized she had a problem. She began spending more and more time away from home. Especially in the evenings. She became obsessed with the book and often neglected other things like her kids, her laundry, her dishes. What had she done? Could she continue on this path? She even checked her blog to find friends awaiting some word from her. Then she realized she had to come clean. She had to tell the truth of her escapades. Perhaps others would find more patience in her short comings, and perhaps she would find the patience needed to get through the next 10 days.
The truth of the matter was that she had agreed to be in a play. She was so nervous because it was NOT a musical. Patience is learning to not rush, to go through the process of getting from one point of knowledge or experience to the next. Progression happens when patience is followed.
So here the woman sits, petitioning her family and friends to be patient a bit longer. After Feb 6th this show will be over and then I can focus on lifes other demands again.
So seriously.....
Kris and I are in the play "Doubt, a parable" It has been an amazing experience thus far. It has been a stretch and I am gaining insights every night. We rehearse MTWTH and Sat. So when I say I have not been home..I mean really... I have not been home. During the day I have been running lines with people and have been trying to keep on some of the household things. In the middle of all this, my kids have had stomach flu and Caitlyn had some health issues for about 2 weeks. (which we are still trying to figure out) She has another DR appt next week. The day of dress rehearsal....lol.

I am anxious to post more...so wait a week or two and I should be up and going again!!
xoxox

New Posts coming

I really had every intention of blogging more this past week, but some weeks are just like that....
So tomorrow...check back...serious updates will be happening. :)

Gingerbread houses

For FHE last night we made Gingerbread houses. Actually that is a falsehood. They are gingerbread house wanna be's! I tried making homemade gingerbread one year and it was so good, but when baked the walls shrunk, the roof pieces were crooked and nothing lined up and it simply made me crazy. Thank heavens for pre scored graham crackers. We had a blast!!
I think for me the best part of the night was listening to all of my kids laughing. They were downright silly. Caitlyn was rolling a snowman out of coconut and royal icing and Nick kept watching the back of his roof sink in and Nate was busy making everyone laugh. Truly one of the best nights in a very long time. :)
Here are some pics. Enjoy

Can you believe he is 17

I often ask myself where the time has gone. Has it really been 17 years since Nick arrived in our family?
Wasn't it just yesterday that he was this little sweet baby?

 Let me tell you the story of  Nick.
I have to back track just a bit to show you how Nick fits into this picture. When Kris and I were first married...I mean the first sacrament meeting we went to as a newly married couple, we sat listening to the opening prayer and the person praying was blessing the little children in the ward. I immediately had the impression that we were not to wait to start our family. I was overwhelmed with that impression and leaned over to Kris and said "I just had the weirdest thought" and I proceeded to tell him what I had felt and with a smile on his face he told me he had felt the same thing. I think we were both in shock and did not know what to think about that. 6 short months later we found out we were expecting Nate. When Nate was 9 months old, I had a very special spiritual experience in which I heard a voice in the middle of the night saying "mommy, I am ready to come to earth" I didn't know what to think of that and remember saying "I don't know who you are, but go back, I am not ready for another baby" This happened 3 nights in a row and I knew this person was a girl, a very strong and valiant girl. When Nate turned 1 I found out I was pregnant. I thought it was the girl who had come to me previously. The night before our 20 wk ultrasound, I dreamed about Nick. I saw a baby with dark hair and the sweetest little smile. I saw him dressed in white. The feeling around him was one of peace. When we went to our ultrasound appt I said to Kris "This baby is not a girl, this is a boy" and I told him of my dream. We then had this confirmed at our dr. appt. We were indeed having a boy.

He arrived 3 weeks early on November 18, 1993. He weighed 8 lb 13 oz. My smallest baby. He arrived at 8:18 am and was perfect. He had dark black hair and was a very peaceful baby.
That would be the word I would use to describe Nick to this day. Peaceful.

And now 17 years later...he is not this little boy, this little baby...anymore. He is a gentle, handsome, smart, genuine, funny, creative young man.

Some of Nick's favorite things are
1. Apple Pie
2. Archeology
3. History
4. Playing Magic (a card game)
5. Reading
And he is way into Mythbusters, Ghost Hunters, History Channel and Scify Channel. So for his b-day we got him a night tour of Alcatraz Island and prison. We also got him a digital voice recorder so he can try his hand at communicating with the ghosts of Alcatraz. We will see what happens.
But let me just say, that as his mom, I think Nick is one of the coolest people I know. He is so good and so good to me. He loves the gospel, he loves the Lord, He is faithful and he is pretty darn amazing!

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY NICK. WE LOVE YOU

tender mercies

I have been learning much in my life about the tender mercies of the Lord. Tender Mercies as Elder Bednar (quorum of the 12 apostles, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) said are
"the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits “his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men” (D&C 46:15).
How grateful I am that my Heavenly Father loves me enough that through his son, even Jesus Christ, I can be blessed with very specific, personal blessings and understandings that come with an abundance of peace. I remember a few years ago, when Nathan was in 5th grade. He had a very bad asthma attack, coupled with his vocal cords closing on him that resulted in him being in the hospital on a respirator and in a drug induced coma.  I remember that night knowing that the only thing I could offer up in behalf of my son was my faith. I had no power on my own of healing him, but I could have faith that the priesthood blessing which he was given would come to pass and heal him, I could have faith that his medical team would be inspired to know what was going on with him. I could ask Heavenly Father to let him live, to not take him home yet. As I prayed that night, out in a dark corner of the pediatric intensive care unit, I was blessed with the tender mercy of peace. How grateful I was that night for the powerful feeling of peace. To have comfort given to me immediately and to have the feeling that he would be ok wash over me. I learned about submitting to God's will that night and was grateful that all would be fine.

If you think about the time when the Savior was on the earth he promised his apostles he would not leave them comfortless. He would send a comforter to be with them. I do believe that we need to be in a frame of mind to receive those tender mercies and if we are, how wonderful to know we can feel them. When we lived in Harrisville, utah, we had a neighbor across the street from us. When we had bought our house, many on our street told us NOT to get to know this person.  Well, we became GREAT friends with the neighbor. Her name is Tyanna. She filled me up and I learned so much about compassion and service from her. In the short 2 years we knew each other, I learned much about the love of Christ and how to be Christlike and to be a missionary all the time. When we had known each other about 9 months, Tyanna was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. We thought the treatments were doing the job, but I remember many times listening to priesthood blessings given to her, by my husband. In them, he would bless her with comfort, strength etc, but never could he bless her to be whole, or to get well. During the time of her cancer and treatments, her husband became active again and their family was sealed in the temple. We moved to colorado in the spring that  year and 7 weeks later I got a phone call from Tyanna's daughter telling me her time was short, that she was at home on a morphine drip and that they expected her to pass at any time. I made it back to Utah the day she passed away. I was too late to see her one last time, but was blessed to have dreams about her, that she was OK and that she was happy. For months after I would catch a whif of Tide detergent and downey fabric softener in the most random of places.... at home depot, at a park....at a restaurant...and each time, I would have a thought pass through my mind "I am here, I am SO happy and I am at peace" I knew this was a tender mercy to let me know that she was OK and happy.

In the last few months, I have learned of so many people I know and love, who are struggling in some way or another...inactivity in the gospel, illness, divorce, job loss etc. I know that I could become VERY overwhelmed with all of this "bad news" but another tender mercy has been given to me and that is the ability to comprehend these things and to see the eternal picture. To know that Heavenly Father's hand is guiding us and is in all things.
I am grateful for my membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am blessed daily by this. I am grateful for the knowledge that brings to me and I am grateful to have the only true church as part of my life. Sometimes I want to SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOF TOPS..... with in the gospel is found ALL the teachings and powers and of God. Now it is our job to let those around us know :)
I am blessed to have the friends that I do, who love me despite my MANY short comings. I am blessed to have a husband who supports me, up lifts me and encourages me. I am blessed by have 3 of the most amazing and wonderful children on this planet. I am blessed to feel the tender mercies of God when I need them.

"I love to read the scriptures"

For the past 3 months I have diligently read the scriptures. I have missed the occasional Saturday, which I am working on NOT doing, but for the most part have read every day. I love the peace that the scriptures bring to me. I love the answers and the rush of the spirit that comes from reading every day. I have the blessing of taking Nick and Caitlyn to Seminary every morning(Seminary is an early morning class that teens can take. In Seminary they study a certain Book of Scripture for the entire school year. They can Study the Old Testament, The New Testament, The Book or Mormon and The Doctrine and Covenants)  In doing so, I usually have time in the mornings to read while I wait for them. For the past month, Nate has been working and I have taken him to work in my morning routine as well. As we sit and wait for the time to pass before he has to go to work (because I take him at the same time I take Nick and Caitlyn) I will pull out my scriptures and read then as well. I have been reading in The Book Of Mormon and just finished it on Monday. I decided I wanted to see if I could read it one more time before the end of the year, which is going to be a bigger task, but it can be done :) I will keep you posted on my progress.
I really fell in love with the Book of Moroni, which is the last book in The Book of Mormon. I love Moroni's words on Faith and Hope and Charity. What a blessing that has been right now.
If you are finding yourself discouraged, in need of a boost, read the words of Moroni about having hope. It reminds me of President Uchtdorfs talk on Hope  http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=25c5a0ad4843d110VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=f318118dd536c010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
or Elder Hollands talk on Safety for the Soul
http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?hideNav=1&locale=0&sourceId=77ee56627ab94210VgnVCM100000176f620a____&vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD
How grateful I am for living prophets and apostles who teach us and who give us the lifelines we need to hold on to to make it through the muck of the world. Sometimes it is muddled and sometimes it is joyful. Either way, I have found great peace and strength through reading the scriptures.
In closing this post, let me share the lyrics to one of my favorite songs :

Clive Romney, “Scripture Power,” Friend, Oct 1987, 10–11

1. Because I want to be like the Savior, and I can,
I’m reading His instructions, I’m following His plan.
Because I want the power His word will give to me,
I’m changing how I live, I’m changing what I’ll be.

2. I’ll find the sword of truth in each scripture that I learn.
I’ll take the shield of faith from these pages that I turn.
I’ll wear each vital part of the armor of the Lord,
And fight my daily battles, and win a great reward.

[Chorus]
Scripture power keeps me safe from sin.
Scripture power is the power to win.
Scripture power! Ev’ryday I need
The power that I get each time I read.

Marvelous this plan of our Fathers in which he blesses us for even the smallest of efforts in our daily lives. If you have not read your scriptures today then...what are you waiting for??

Theater...outside of Utah

Kris, Caitlyn and I just finished up the production of "A Streetcar Named Desire". This play was one I had heard of and had probably read years and years ago, but was somewhat unfamiliar with. I knew that Marlon Brando had played Stanley Kawalski in the movie version of it and that he had a great scene calling for "STELLA!!!!!" his wife, to come back to him, but other than that, did not know a whole lot about the play.
In a nutshell, it is the story of Stella and Blanche Du Bois, they are sisters who grew up on the plantation "belle reve" in Mississippi. Stella left and moved to New Orleans and married Stanley. Blanche stayed and basically went off the deep end after her young husband committed suicide. She ended up being the scandelous talk of the town and left after trying to seduce one of her high school students. She takes up residency with Stanley and Stella and causes all sorts of havoc. She begins to like "Mitch" and he likes her until he finds out what kind of woman she is. In the end she goes through a serious of horrible events that cause her to basically go a bit bonkers and  Stella has her committed.
The story has so many layers and so many amazing lines in it. Tennessee Williams was an amazing playwright.
Well, Kris played the part of Mitch and Caitlyn had a smaller role of "woman" friend of the lady who lives in the apt upstairs from Stanley and Stella. I was the associate producer. It was nice to learn so much more about the production, directing and stage crew roles in a play.
During this whole process however, I have learned how grateful I am to have had the chance to work with Clearfield community theater and Heritage Theater in Utah. I am so GRATEFUL that I had the opportunity to work with so many people who were so talented and had such a vision of doing wholesome theater. That brings me to my next thoughts.
I am trying harder in my life to not jump to conclusions and to judge people. But it has been an eye opener to be in a production where our little family are the only LDS cast members. There are other cast members who are religious and that is really nice as well. I have learned so much from those people. I guess the one thing I have learned is that professional theater can be done with morals. It was hard for me each night to know that in one scene Stella and Stanley are "making up" and it ended up being an almost "nude" scene. The actress playing Stella did a fabulous job, however when it came to the "bedroom" scene, she had what appeared to be no qualms about being almost naked in front of the audience. She would go out in her nightgown and robe only to have Stanley undress her. The only thing left on under the covers was her underware. So here I am back stage trying to get her dressed again. So not only did the audience have almost nothing left to the imagination but I am seeing WAY more of this actress than I want to. And if that is not enough, there really was NOT a place for her to change privately backstage. We would hold a sheet up, but for the most part the men in the cast (some as young as 18) had to do a great deal of averting their eyes so as to not see her.
I was really so pleased with the whole show except this once scene and it reminds me of justifying going to a movie..."It really is a great movie except for one scene"...you know how that goes.
I really wanted to invite ward members to come and see the show but did not because of this scene. We even told her that she did not need to undress as much but that didn't seem like an option.
So needless to say, it was an eye opener. I really really love theater and doing productions but i can see that we can no longer go into auditions or into a show without first becoming really familiar with the show and asking the director questions like "will their be nudity in this show?" I guess these were just NEVER things we had to worry about with our community theater in utah.
So I give my Kudo's to Tracy Heun, Parks and Rec Manager for Clearfield City, and to the many directors of the shows there for putting together WHOLESOME theater for the WHOLE FAMILY to come and enjoy!! There was never a question of whether your Bishop should be invited to see a show you were doing.
I am not sure what other shows we will be doing with the theater here. Everyone wants us to audition for RENT in the spring, but I am uncertain about how that show will be portrayed.
I am excited for some opportunities though to audition for "DOUBT" and a newly written show done by a Chinese playwright called "At the Playground:" This show may even be taken back to China to perform. :o)

At any rate. These are my rantings. I hope they do NOT come across as too judgemental or harsh. I feel like I am in a totally different world here sometimes. I love love love California, but I am learning that I am not in a shielded bubble anymore....