Is it really April??? I mean..wow...Where did MARCH go??
Nate turned 19 in March, and the rest of the month seems like a blur.
A quick update on my mom. Chemo is going well. And the feeding tube, when not getting clogged or having to be replaced, has been working and she is up to 114lbs (she was 99 when I flew home) They did an antogen marker test last week and we are awaiting the results of that. She has developed a blood clot in her leg, so she is receiving medication for that as well. Ah, the joys! :) All in all, things are good right now. She was blessed to have a visit from her brother who lives here in California and from her sister who lives in Utah. Those were both wonderful for her.
I am super busy right now ( I know..what else is new) Kris and I have working as the musical directors for RENT. The original musical director walked out and we agreed to step in and then I sortof dumped it on my husband and he took over while I was in Utah with my mom. He is amazing and I was so grateful to know he had things in control while I was gone. Since RENT is mainly music (like 98%) he had his work cut out for him. I joined him when I got home and although I really really really dislike the content of the show, I have, for the most part, enjoyed getting to know some VERY talented people and have enjoyed those friendships. I have missed not being at home at night, that has really tugged at my heart strings. I need to be home being the mom and that has made me mad...mad that I didn't just say "NO" to this project in the first place. At any rate..what is done, is done. And the show will be over next sunday.
On top of doing musical direction for a show, I am also the costume mistress for the upcoming dance festival. Today we cut out 16 circle skirts and they are now ready to sew. The costumes are simple, but will be fabulous!!! Can't wait to see it all come together. Kris and I were also called to be part of the Stage Management team for the event, which will be amazing!
Nick, Caitlyn and I will be heading up to Utah the last week of April for Spring Break and some much needed time with my mom again! YEAH!!! So I am looking forward to the break!
So that is a brief update. OH, did I mention that my hard drive totally died on my 1 year old lap top? Now I have a new one installed, I am up and running again, but sadly, all info on my old hard drive was lost.
Ok, so thats it. I will try to post pictures after this next week is over!!
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Saturday, March 12, 2011
A quick update
I feel like my world has turned a bit upside down since I posted last.
I spent the last two weeks up in Utah caring for my mom and spending much needed time with my family.
My mom had started throwing up the end of January and the doctors thought it might be a stomach virus. After multiple trips to the ER, urgent care and being admitted to the hospital, a colonoscopy, upper GI and CT scan, it was determined that my sweet mom has pancreatic cancer. I have to say I am not a big fan of the "cancer" word. It was difficult, at best, to hear those words coming from the doctors mouth. I must say he was kind, gentle and it was in and of itself, a rather spiritual moment. I was grateful for Dr Neilson and for his understanding of the gospel plan and how that could have an effect of the news he had to deliver. The tumor is situated in a way that it is pushing against the intestinal wall causing a blockage. This is why my mom would get so sick and violently throw up because there was no place for any food or liquid she was consuming to go. It could not get past the blockage. My mom has lost a lot of weight, but the good news is, some of it is starting to come back on :)
After we found out the news of the tumor, we met with the oncologist, Dr Klein (in Bountiful) and she was wonderful as well. Mom has opted to try Chemo treatments, not as a means to cure, but as a means to offer some shrinkage in the tumor so that perhaps actual food could be consumed and could get past the blockage. We are not sure of the outcome of the chemo at this point but do know that positive results could prolong her sweet life.
In the past 2 weeks, she has had a feeding tube placed up through the nose, down past the blockage. It slipped partially out the next day and had to be repositioned again. After that we were up and going with a few minor snags like clogs in the feeding tube (which we have now learned how to work those out) She has an IV pole that the food bags hang from and says that she is tethered to the "mother ship"...the IV pole. Great sense of humor. I lover her so!!
I flew home last monday and since then she has had her first round of Chemo. She did get a little nauseated and tired but other than that, seemed to weather it well. She will have 3 treatments then a week off, then 3 then a week off... I supposed then her oncologist will evaluate how things are going at that point.
I have to say that while I was up at her home, I kept thinking to myself "I should be upset, I should be crying" but the tears did not flow. I suppose that that comes from the spirit. Think of the prayers being offered in her behalf from temple prayer rolls, to family and friends. We are bouyed up by this and are given great strength and comfort in a way that I don't think I have felt before. Perhaps when Nathan was in the hospital many years ago (when he was 10 ) but what a blessing it is to have that now.
I am also grateful for amazing siblings. We all bring our own strengths to the table when it comes to the care of our mother. We can offer many ways to serve her and to care for her. How wonderful it is to see us unified in this purpose!!
I will try to keep posting as events happen.
In other news. Can you believe that Nate will turn 19 this next week? While there are no mission plans yet, I do see signs of growth in him and continue to pray for him to have a soft heart and to have the ability to feel something...anything pertaining to the spirit. If you care to include him in your prayers that would be greatly appreciated.
Kris seems to be aging and leveling up these days as he will be ordained a High Priest this Sunday. He has been called to be the second assistant in HP group. I think it is fabulous and truly preperatory of great things to come forth.
I am currently teaching RS and LOVE teaching the gospel principals lessons. I am also the costume mistress for our ward for the upcoming dance festival for the youth and Kris and I are Stage Managers as well. I am also on the scout committee...but I have no idea really what my job is there yet...it will come :)
Sorry it has been so long since I have posted. Lots going on!!
Love you all!!!
I spent the last two weeks up in Utah caring for my mom and spending much needed time with my family.
My mom had started throwing up the end of January and the doctors thought it might be a stomach virus. After multiple trips to the ER, urgent care and being admitted to the hospital, a colonoscopy, upper GI and CT scan, it was determined that my sweet mom has pancreatic cancer. I have to say I am not a big fan of the "cancer" word. It was difficult, at best, to hear those words coming from the doctors mouth. I must say he was kind, gentle and it was in and of itself, a rather spiritual moment. I was grateful for Dr Neilson and for his understanding of the gospel plan and how that could have an effect of the news he had to deliver. The tumor is situated in a way that it is pushing against the intestinal wall causing a blockage. This is why my mom would get so sick and violently throw up because there was no place for any food or liquid she was consuming to go. It could not get past the blockage. My mom has lost a lot of weight, but the good news is, some of it is starting to come back on :)
After we found out the news of the tumor, we met with the oncologist, Dr Klein (in Bountiful) and she was wonderful as well. Mom has opted to try Chemo treatments, not as a means to cure, but as a means to offer some shrinkage in the tumor so that perhaps actual food could be consumed and could get past the blockage. We are not sure of the outcome of the chemo at this point but do know that positive results could prolong her sweet life.
In the past 2 weeks, she has had a feeding tube placed up through the nose, down past the blockage. It slipped partially out the next day and had to be repositioned again. After that we were up and going with a few minor snags like clogs in the feeding tube (which we have now learned how to work those out) She has an IV pole that the food bags hang from and says that she is tethered to the "mother ship"...the IV pole. Great sense of humor. I lover her so!!
I flew home last monday and since then she has had her first round of Chemo. She did get a little nauseated and tired but other than that, seemed to weather it well. She will have 3 treatments then a week off, then 3 then a week off... I supposed then her oncologist will evaluate how things are going at that point.
I have to say that while I was up at her home, I kept thinking to myself "I should be upset, I should be crying" but the tears did not flow. I suppose that that comes from the spirit. Think of the prayers being offered in her behalf from temple prayer rolls, to family and friends. We are bouyed up by this and are given great strength and comfort in a way that I don't think I have felt before. Perhaps when Nathan was in the hospital many years ago (when he was 10 ) but what a blessing it is to have that now.
I am also grateful for amazing siblings. We all bring our own strengths to the table when it comes to the care of our mother. We can offer many ways to serve her and to care for her. How wonderful it is to see us unified in this purpose!!
I will try to keep posting as events happen.
In other news. Can you believe that Nate will turn 19 this next week? While there are no mission plans yet, I do see signs of growth in him and continue to pray for him to have a soft heart and to have the ability to feel something...anything pertaining to the spirit. If you care to include him in your prayers that would be greatly appreciated.
Kris seems to be aging and leveling up these days as he will be ordained a High Priest this Sunday. He has been called to be the second assistant in HP group. I think it is fabulous and truly preperatory of great things to come forth.
I am currently teaching RS and LOVE teaching the gospel principals lessons. I am also the costume mistress for our ward for the upcoming dance festival for the youth and Kris and I are Stage Managers as well. I am also on the scout committee...but I have no idea really what my job is there yet...it will come :)
Sorry it has been so long since I have posted. Lots going on!!
Love you all!!!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
PATIENCE
That is the topic of my sermon today. One day there was an amazing woman who dedicated her life to her family and friends and to Heavenly Father. She tried to do all she could. She made a resolve to update her blog and post pictures of events of her family. She then received something. A man she knew knocked at her door and handed her a book. She was so excited to receive it. She immediately sat down and read the book, cover to cover. She highlighted passages and began to commit the book to memory. She then realized she had a problem. She began spending more and more time away from home. Especially in the evenings. She became obsessed with the book and often neglected other things like her kids, her laundry, her dishes. What had she done? Could she continue on this path? She even checked her blog to find friends awaiting some word from her. Then she realized she had to come clean. She had to tell the truth of her escapades. Perhaps others would find more patience in her short comings, and perhaps she would find the patience needed to get through the next 10 days.
The truth of the matter was that she had agreed to be in a play. She was so nervous because it was NOT a musical. Patience is learning to not rush, to go through the process of getting from one point of knowledge or experience to the next. Progression happens when patience is followed.
So here the woman sits, petitioning her family and friends to be patient a bit longer. After Feb 6th this show will be over and then I can focus on lifes other demands again.
So seriously.....
Kris and I are in the play "Doubt, a parable" It has been an amazing experience thus far. It has been a stretch and I am gaining insights every night. We rehearse MTWTH and Sat. So when I say I have not been home..I mean really... I have not been home. During the day I have been running lines with people and have been trying to keep on some of the household things. In the middle of all this, my kids have had stomach flu and Caitlyn had some health issues for about 2 weeks. (which we are still trying to figure out) She has another DR appt next week. The day of dress rehearsal....lol.
I am anxious to post more...so wait a week or two and I should be up and going again!!
xoxox
The truth of the matter was that she had agreed to be in a play. She was so nervous because it was NOT a musical. Patience is learning to not rush, to go through the process of getting from one point of knowledge or experience to the next. Progression happens when patience is followed.
So here the woman sits, petitioning her family and friends to be patient a bit longer. After Feb 6th this show will be over and then I can focus on lifes other demands again.
So seriously.....
Kris and I are in the play "Doubt, a parable" It has been an amazing experience thus far. It has been a stretch and I am gaining insights every night. We rehearse MTWTH and Sat. So when I say I have not been home..I mean really... I have not been home. During the day I have been running lines with people and have been trying to keep on some of the household things. In the middle of all this, my kids have had stomach flu and Caitlyn had some health issues for about 2 weeks. (which we are still trying to figure out) She has another DR appt next week. The day of dress rehearsal....lol.
I am anxious to post more...so wait a week or two and I should be up and going again!!
xoxox
Sunday, January 9, 2011
New Posts coming
I really had every intention of blogging more this past week, but some weeks are just like that....
So tomorrow...check back...serious updates will be happening. :)
So tomorrow...check back...serious updates will be happening. :)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Gingerbread houses
For FHE last night we made Gingerbread houses. Actually that is a falsehood. They are gingerbread house wanna be's! I tried making homemade gingerbread one year and it was so good, but when baked the walls shrunk, the roof pieces were crooked and nothing lined up and it simply made me crazy. Thank heavens for pre scored graham crackers. We had a blast!!
I think for me the best part of the night was listening to all of my kids laughing. They were downright silly. Caitlyn was rolling a snowman out of coconut and royal icing and Nick kept watching the back of his roof sink in and Nate was busy making everyone laugh. Truly one of the best nights in a very long time. :)
Here are some pics. Enjoy
I think for me the best part of the night was listening to all of my kids laughing. They were downright silly. Caitlyn was rolling a snowman out of coconut and royal icing and Nick kept watching the back of his roof sink in and Nate was busy making everyone laugh. Truly one of the best nights in a very long time. :)
Here are some pics. Enjoy
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Can you believe he is 17
I often ask myself where the time has gone. Has it really been 17 years since Nick arrived in our family?
Wasn't it just yesterday that he was this little sweet baby?
Let me tell you the story of Nick.
I have to back track just a bit to show you how Nick fits into this picture. When Kris and I were first married...I mean the first sacrament meeting we went to as a newly married couple, we sat listening to the opening prayer and the person praying was blessing the little children in the ward. I immediately had the impression that we were not to wait to start our family. I was overwhelmed with that impression and leaned over to Kris and said "I just had the weirdest thought" and I proceeded to tell him what I had felt and with a smile on his face he told me he had felt the same thing. I think we were both in shock and did not know what to think about that. 6 short months later we found out we were expecting Nate. When Nate was 9 months old, I had a very special spiritual experience in which I heard a voice in the middle of the night saying "mommy, I am ready to come to earth" I didn't know what to think of that and remember saying "I don't know who you are, but go back, I am not ready for another baby" This happened 3 nights in a row and I knew this person was a girl, a very strong and valiant girl. When Nate turned 1 I found out I was pregnant. I thought it was the girl who had come to me previously. The night before our 20 wk ultrasound, I dreamed about Nick. I saw a baby with dark hair and the sweetest little smile. I saw him dressed in white. The feeling around him was one of peace. When we went to our ultrasound appt I said to Kris "This baby is not a girl, this is a boy" and I told him of my dream. We then had this confirmed at our dr. appt. We were indeed having a boy.
He arrived 3 weeks early on November 18, 1993. He weighed 8 lb 13 oz. My smallest baby. He arrived at 8:18 am and was perfect. He had dark black hair and was a very peaceful baby.
That would be the word I would use to describe Nick to this day. Peaceful.
And now 17 years later...he is not this little boy, this little baby...anymore. He is a gentle, handsome, smart, genuine, funny, creative young man.
Some of Nick's favorite things are
1. Apple Pie
2. Archeology
3. History
4. Playing Magic (a card game)
5. Reading
And he is way into Mythbusters, Ghost Hunters, History Channel and Scify Channel. So for his b-day we got him a night tour of Alcatraz Island and prison. We also got him a digital voice recorder so he can try his hand at communicating with the ghosts of Alcatraz. We will see what happens.
But let me just say, that as his mom, I think Nick is one of the coolest people I know. He is so good and so good to me. He loves the gospel, he loves the Lord, He is faithful and he is pretty darn amazing!
HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY NICK. WE LOVE YOU
Wasn't it just yesterday that he was this little sweet baby?
I have to back track just a bit to show you how Nick fits into this picture. When Kris and I were first married...I mean the first sacrament meeting we went to as a newly married couple, we sat listening to the opening prayer and the person praying was blessing the little children in the ward. I immediately had the impression that we were not to wait to start our family. I was overwhelmed with that impression and leaned over to Kris and said "I just had the weirdest thought" and I proceeded to tell him what I had felt and with a smile on his face he told me he had felt the same thing. I think we were both in shock and did not know what to think about that. 6 short months later we found out we were expecting Nate. When Nate was 9 months old, I had a very special spiritual experience in which I heard a voice in the middle of the night saying "mommy, I am ready to come to earth" I didn't know what to think of that and remember saying "I don't know who you are, but go back, I am not ready for another baby" This happened 3 nights in a row and I knew this person was a girl, a very strong and valiant girl. When Nate turned 1 I found out I was pregnant. I thought it was the girl who had come to me previously. The night before our 20 wk ultrasound, I dreamed about Nick. I saw a baby with dark hair and the sweetest little smile. I saw him dressed in white. The feeling around him was one of peace. When we went to our ultrasound appt I said to Kris "This baby is not a girl, this is a boy" and I told him of my dream. We then had this confirmed at our dr. appt. We were indeed having a boy.
He arrived 3 weeks early on November 18, 1993. He weighed 8 lb 13 oz. My smallest baby. He arrived at 8:18 am and was perfect. He had dark black hair and was a very peaceful baby.
That would be the word I would use to describe Nick to this day. Peaceful.
1. Apple Pie
2. Archeology
3. History
4. Playing Magic (a card game)
5. Reading
And he is way into Mythbusters, Ghost Hunters, History Channel and Scify Channel. So for his b-day we got him a night tour of Alcatraz Island and prison. We also got him a digital voice recorder so he can try his hand at communicating with the ghosts of Alcatraz. We will see what happens.
But let me just say, that as his mom, I think Nick is one of the coolest people I know. He is so good and so good to me. He loves the gospel, he loves the Lord, He is faithful and he is pretty darn amazing!
HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY NICK. WE LOVE YOU
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
tender mercies
I have been learning much in my life about the tender mercies of the Lord. Tender Mercies as Elder Bednar (quorum of the 12 apostles, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) said are
"the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits “his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men” (D&C 46:15).
How grateful I am that my Heavenly Father loves me enough that through his son, even Jesus Christ, I can be blessed with very specific, personal blessings and understandings that come with an abundance of peace. I remember a few years ago, when Nathan was in 5th grade. He had a very bad asthma attack, coupled with his vocal cords closing on him that resulted in him being in the hospital on a respirator and in a drug induced coma. I remember that night knowing that the only thing I could offer up in behalf of my son was my faith. I had no power on my own of healing him, but I could have faith that the priesthood blessing which he was given would come to pass and heal him, I could have faith that his medical team would be inspired to know what was going on with him. I could ask Heavenly Father to let him live, to not take him home yet. As I prayed that night, out in a dark corner of the pediatric intensive care unit, I was blessed with the tender mercy of peace. How grateful I was that night for the powerful feeling of peace. To have comfort given to me immediately and to have the feeling that he would be ok wash over me. I learned about submitting to God's will that night and was grateful that all would be fine.
If you think about the time when the Savior was on the earth he promised his apostles he would not leave them comfortless. He would send a comforter to be with them. I do believe that we need to be in a frame of mind to receive those tender mercies and if we are, how wonderful to know we can feel them. When we lived in Harrisville, utah, we had a neighbor across the street from us. When we had bought our house, many on our street told us NOT to get to know this person. Well, we became GREAT friends with the neighbor. Her name is Tyanna. She filled me up and I learned so much about compassion and service from her. In the short 2 years we knew each other, I learned much about the love of Christ and how to be Christlike and to be a missionary all the time. When we had known each other about 9 months, Tyanna was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. We thought the treatments were doing the job, but I remember many times listening to priesthood blessings given to her, by my husband. In them, he would bless her with comfort, strength etc, but never could he bless her to be whole, or to get well. During the time of her cancer and treatments, her husband became active again and their family was sealed in the temple. We moved to colorado in the spring that year and 7 weeks later I got a phone call from Tyanna's daughter telling me her time was short, that she was at home on a morphine drip and that they expected her to pass at any time. I made it back to Utah the day she passed away. I was too late to see her one last time, but was blessed to have dreams about her, that she was OK and that she was happy. For months after I would catch a whif of Tide detergent and downey fabric softener in the most random of places.... at home depot, at a park....at a restaurant...and each time, I would have a thought pass through my mind "I am here, I am SO happy and I am at peace" I knew this was a tender mercy to let me know that she was OK and happy.
In the last few months, I have learned of so many people I know and love, who are struggling in some way or another...inactivity in the gospel, illness, divorce, job loss etc. I know that I could become VERY overwhelmed with all of this "bad news" but another tender mercy has been given to me and that is the ability to comprehend these things and to see the eternal picture. To know that Heavenly Father's hand is guiding us and is in all things.
I am grateful for my membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am blessed daily by this. I am grateful for the knowledge that brings to me and I am grateful to have the only true church as part of my life. Sometimes I want to SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOF TOPS..... with in the gospel is found ALL the teachings and powers and of God. Now it is our job to let those around us know :)
I am blessed to have the friends that I do, who love me despite my MANY short comings. I am blessed to have a husband who supports me, up lifts me and encourages me. I am blessed by have 3 of the most amazing and wonderful children on this planet. I am blessed to feel the tender mercies of God when I need them.
"the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ. Truly, the Lord suits “his mercies according to the conditions of the children of men” (D&C 46:15).
How grateful I am that my Heavenly Father loves me enough that through his son, even Jesus Christ, I can be blessed with very specific, personal blessings and understandings that come with an abundance of peace. I remember a few years ago, when Nathan was in 5th grade. He had a very bad asthma attack, coupled with his vocal cords closing on him that resulted in him being in the hospital on a respirator and in a drug induced coma. I remember that night knowing that the only thing I could offer up in behalf of my son was my faith. I had no power on my own of healing him, but I could have faith that the priesthood blessing which he was given would come to pass and heal him, I could have faith that his medical team would be inspired to know what was going on with him. I could ask Heavenly Father to let him live, to not take him home yet. As I prayed that night, out in a dark corner of the pediatric intensive care unit, I was blessed with the tender mercy of peace. How grateful I was that night for the powerful feeling of peace. To have comfort given to me immediately and to have the feeling that he would be ok wash over me. I learned about submitting to God's will that night and was grateful that all would be fine.
If you think about the time when the Savior was on the earth he promised his apostles he would not leave them comfortless. He would send a comforter to be with them. I do believe that we need to be in a frame of mind to receive those tender mercies and if we are, how wonderful to know we can feel them. When we lived in Harrisville, utah, we had a neighbor across the street from us. When we had bought our house, many on our street told us NOT to get to know this person. Well, we became GREAT friends with the neighbor. Her name is Tyanna. She filled me up and I learned so much about compassion and service from her. In the short 2 years we knew each other, I learned much about the love of Christ and how to be Christlike and to be a missionary all the time. When we had known each other about 9 months, Tyanna was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. We thought the treatments were doing the job, but I remember many times listening to priesthood blessings given to her, by my husband. In them, he would bless her with comfort, strength etc, but never could he bless her to be whole, or to get well. During the time of her cancer and treatments, her husband became active again and their family was sealed in the temple. We moved to colorado in the spring that year and 7 weeks later I got a phone call from Tyanna's daughter telling me her time was short, that she was at home on a morphine drip and that they expected her to pass at any time. I made it back to Utah the day she passed away. I was too late to see her one last time, but was blessed to have dreams about her, that she was OK and that she was happy. For months after I would catch a whif of Tide detergent and downey fabric softener in the most random of places.... at home depot, at a park....at a restaurant...and each time, I would have a thought pass through my mind "I am here, I am SO happy and I am at peace" I knew this was a tender mercy to let me know that she was OK and happy.
In the last few months, I have learned of so many people I know and love, who are struggling in some way or another...inactivity in the gospel, illness, divorce, job loss etc. I know that I could become VERY overwhelmed with all of this "bad news" but another tender mercy has been given to me and that is the ability to comprehend these things and to see the eternal picture. To know that Heavenly Father's hand is guiding us and is in all things.
I am grateful for my membership in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I am blessed daily by this. I am grateful for the knowledge that brings to me and I am grateful to have the only true church as part of my life. Sometimes I want to SHOUT IT FROM THE ROOF TOPS..... with in the gospel is found ALL the teachings and powers and of God. Now it is our job to let those around us know :)
I am blessed to have the friends that I do, who love me despite my MANY short comings. I am blessed to have a husband who supports me, up lifts me and encourages me. I am blessed by have 3 of the most amazing and wonderful children on this planet. I am blessed to feel the tender mercies of God when I need them.
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